Thursday, January 27, 2011

Stress block

I've found myself getting frustrated at myself for not getting to post on here often enough. I haven't been writing much, and I kick myself for it much of the time. I'm not sure why. I manage to reply to threads on the two rp sites that I am on, and I managed to write a few paragraphs on my slowly developing story, well, quickly developing, but slowly written, and yet I find myself unable to think of anything to post on here. I've got a bad case of writer's block.

How can I solve that?

I could go and write something exciting, a random fight scene. Or maybe write a scene from a different storyline. That usually works. But with how much school has been stressing me out, I have to wonder if it will work now...

It's all in my head. The stress, the million ideas for stories, the thousands of character names and personalities...and the stress just seems to lock the door to that wing of my mind...

It's not even that I'm bored. When i'm bored, I just can't think and I stare at walls and grumble and grouch, and usually it's because I can't write. This is a different lock with a different key, and I need to find a way to de-stress myself. Getting my accounting homework done would do that rather well. Maybe I'll do that after I get home from my class. That will be a lot of stress off of my mind.

Friday, January 14, 2011

I Expected Better

I believer there are certain things that are expected in a friendship. Not just the run of the mill, classmate that you hang out with in class because there's no one else remotely appealing, but the true, deep, be-with-this-person-all-the-time-and-tell-them-everything type of friendship.

I believe there are certain requirements that must be met for these, certain qualities that must be had, and certain compatibilities that must be available.
The list goes like this.


Honesty: Just tell the truth. Lies get no where. Don't sugar coat things, it only makes it annoying when you find out that it's not so great as it sounded. I don't mind if someone is a complete ass, so long as they say what they mean and mean what they say. I might be hurt and angry at first, but what can I stay mad at? The Truth? What's the point. And being honest with oneself as well. Just because one can be truthful to me and others doesn't mean they can still lie to themselves. Thats lame. Along with this trait comes the ability to accept honesty. Seriously, if someone can be an ass with honesty, and they can' handle when someone acts like that, then why are they being honest?

Empathy: This isn't the same as Sympathy. I'm not looking for a "I know how you feel, go ahead and cry." I want a "I know the feeling, so what the hell are you going to do to change what's happening?" I don't want something to just cheer me up by sympathizing. I want someone who will help change my mood, and will discuss what's happening/happened with me. If it doesn't change my state of mind, it's not much good.

Integrety: If you say you're going to do something, then do it. If you don't show up for a date/appointment, and you promised, I don't want to hear "I'm sorry, but this and this and this happened..." I don't care. Apologize, and then make it better somehow. If you say you won't freak out, and then you do, don't expect me to talk about whatever it was that freaked you out. Be who you say you are.

Flexibility: Being able to bend around a schedule is important. Sometimes the best friends are the ones with lives, and if both people are busy, we need to be able to bend around schedules. Obviously, this is true, even for people with solid schedules. they still try to find time together.

Openness: If I am talking about something that you don't agree with... that's not my problem. I don't mind if people don't agree, but at least have the decency and open mind to let me finish what I'm saying. 
Me: "Abortion should be the mother's-"
Other: "Abortion is murder. Fact is fact. I don't ant to hear it." 

Sometimes one can be good friends without this. But for me, I need at least 3 of these pieces to be a good friend with anyone.
I expect better.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Boredom,,, a very interesting thing. It's like a sickness: contagious and annoying. In fact, it's a bit like a very bad flu. Everyone gets flu at some point. Whether it lasts for two days, or twenty, depends on them. It's curable. Everybody knows the basic cures for flu, and boredom. But, a bit like Advil or Tylenol, or any other pain medication, they don't last. Games often don't stay entertaining for two long, they turn into a mere distraction, so one can at least feel like one is doing something.Watching youtube videos is yet another temporary cure. Or scanning Facebook, taking random quizzes, watching movies... even drawing or reading can get old after a while.

The more rare cure for boredom, that not so many people really think about, is curiosity. Think about it for a moment. What is something that interests you? Something that you want to learn or improve on. 

Or, like some people do with the flu, you can just wait it out, and sit and stare at walls. That sometimes works as well...but often makes the terrible flu of Boredom last longer.I should know, as I've done this so many times. But for once, instead of using customary distractions, I decided to blog about how Boredom is a sickness...  surprisingly enough... My Boredom is gone. I'm actually rather happy, with my music going, my lights off and my thoughts slowing down.

So I guess here is where tonight's post is going to end. 
Goodnight world.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Night Fades To Day

My mind is slowly wandering
as day fades into night
it quietly strolls down the path
as it fades to dark in my sight.

Wandering in darkness,
No light can I see
But it doesn’t matter,
My gaze is at my feet

One after the other,
Left, right, left, right
As I walk along,
Slowly things come into light

Thought rules the realm I walk,
this realm of dreams that I'm in.
Creatures watching me from the sides
as if I've committed sin...

Nightmares, daydreams, symbols
they rush before my eyes.
Everything leaps out then fades away
showing itself to be lies

My mind is slowly wandering
As night fades into day.
I find myself at sunrise
With nothing left to say.

Sunday, January 2, 2011

A Note

For anyone who does read my so seemingly-unnoticed blog...
It's a new year, and a brand new start.
There's so much in store. Life has been spectacular so far (only about two days in after all) and I'm hoping that this year is going to be spectacular and amazing and well, awesome.I find, after thinking often and hard about how little I've written recently, that my poetry is usually inspired by whatever drama is happening in my life...sadly, this makes most of it negative, but here's a new years resolution: what poetry I write this year, shall be based off of how I feel, but not the drama in my life. I'll make it more abstract, perhaps even experiment with other styles than my typical.

Another thought is...maybe I shouldn't put just poetry up here. I mean, should I add in updates on my life (hrmmm.... :-/ ) or maybe some stories, thoughts, etc? I originally planned it to be whatever I felt like writing..but I suppose it's almost like poetry was all I was writing. Especially last year. There was very little story writing done, and even less of the thoughts and random philosophy.

Any thoughts?
If anyone cares that is xD
after all, I've not got many people reading, from all I can tell...
oh well, loves to all.
Happy New Year