Saturday, June 19, 2010

Sunset Meditation

So I'll sit here in deep meditation,
pondering a while my soul's creation.
I'll let out all of my tears of frustration, 
then revel in life's glorious sensations.

Or perhaps, I'll just let this day go by
refusing at all to let myself cry
I'll soothe myself with one or two sighs
and watch the sunset present itself as a flowery lie.

I'll think about all the things I've done
the battles I've lost and the wars I've won
I'll think about the moon, the stars and the sun
and then I'll pause as I realize, it's already gone...

The brightly colored, flowery lie
had come and gone without a cry
so I could sit back a relax for a while
letting out a relieved sigh.

So I'll sit a while in dark retreat
legs crossed neatly under me as a seat
hair tucked to one side, neater than neat
and heart pounding in a quiet, double beat.

And when I feel my thinking is done
I'll straighten my legs, and go for a run
it'll be before again comes the sun
that I'll straighten my legs, and be away, gone.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Sea of Misery

Drama, pain, and broken hearts,
patterns falling all apart.
Fighting, angry words and more,
trying to hold open so many doors
Giving so much for others' sakes,
when all they ever do is take.
I see so much agony and fallen tears
so much grief and hidden fears.
Often I know not what to do
so I let so much go, that's what I choose.
I watch so many things go by in life
filled with all of this shit and strife
because it's all sometimes just like a game
except the shooter guns don't have good aim
We're all islands sitting within the sea
unaware of what we're supposed to be
surrounded by so many along for the ride
but we feel so alone, it's more than we can abide
so we become sailing ships out on the ocean
moving with the waves, set in motion
and you never know just what people you might meet
within the breadth of this sea of misery...

Sunday, June 13, 2010

The First Step


For a while I sat in a dark retreat,
Legs crossed neatly and back arched straight;
In night’s caress did I stay,
Though in the sun’s sweet rays did I wish to stand.
A deep yearning inside of me billowed through my veins,
Fluttered in my heart,
Then rose above my head.
Such a pining sensation I tried to pursue;
But when to my feet did I rise,
A riving pain dipped through each nerve,
And tender shadows caught me upon my back.
The ache was horrendous;
My ankle had rolled and rotated upon itself,
Fracturing fragile internal symmetry
And leaving within its wake a throbbing sting.
Some passed me by;
Though I called for aid,
Only several halted their steps
To bandage my wound.
They draped my ankle with thin white cloth,
Tying it firmly in place with a knot and salve,
But left quite soon with only little words to consider:
“It‘ll heal.”
I tried to cry out,
“Please, help me up; I don‘t want to stay.”
But my voice was much to small,
And the distance was much too great.
So, for a while I sat in a dark retreat,
One leg crossed neatly, and back arched straight;
In night’s caress did I stay,
Though in the sun’s sweet rays did I wish to stand.
I propped myself up and tried to rise,
But fell quiet instantly;
Raw pain charged through my leg and up my spine.
My hope fell with me,
And skimmed the darkness
‘till out of reach did it stay.
Tears of pain and frustration filled up my eyes,
And for a splinter of a second,
I dipped my head down in distress.
Just right then, though,
Was a hand offered to me;
Hand outstretched,
You said:
“Here, I’ll help you stand.”
I took your hand in mine
With a solid but tender grip,
And you helped me upon my feet with much less ache,
Though still did it stay.
“Lean on me,”
Your next words were,
“I’ll get you into the light and we‘ll have that looked at.”
So then we walked upon that road,
You favoring one side and me with a limp.
When the warm sunlight we did reach,
My heart did soar on pure white wings and gratitude,
And I knew that in your debt I was.
But you said to me then,
“This is what friends are for,”
You smiled right then,
“So you don’t always have to take the first step alone.” 

-By Sola-Lily

Goal of Life

You can never tell just how much something might hurt someone
until it is said.
And you never know if you've really lived
until you find yourself dead.
You can't tell how much you have
until you lose it all
and you never know if you've loved
until you really fall.
It never makes any sense
until you've found the question.
And it never occurs that the little things
are the most important to mention.
You never know just how much something hurts 
until it's happened to you.
And you can't tell just what's right,
until you choose what to do.
Life's not a race to the finish line,
but so many act like it is,
when the true goal of life is
to learn, to love and to live.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Save with Words

I know now that I can only save you with words
but I wish that I could do more.
With broken smiles and teardrops
I'm lying here, bleeding, on the floor.

I wish that I could help you up,
pull you back onto your feet
just like I seemed to do
on every day we would meet...

But now I know for sure
that those were temporary highs
they were like taking crack to make you feel good...
it really was nothing much more than lies.

I was your drug, and you were addicted
I was your needle, your joint, your pill.
And now, with heavy withdrawal symptoms
you're starting to look rather ill.

The abuse we've both received 
isn't the type that shows
we've hidden them from so many
and it bruised with every blow.

We're both just a right mess
you more than me, I watched you fall
And now, bruised and bleeding
I'm desperate to get away from it all...

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Alone



I'm getting very tired
of people saying I don't care
of people thinking that I'll leave
even when I say I'll still be there

I've getting very annoyed
with people thinking that I'm gone
so maybe, just maybe, I should leave
maybe I'm better off alone.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Dream

Hands on the wheel
locked into place
and the look of terror
is plastered upon my face.

The wheels are squealing
down the road
and I just can't keep it straight
there's too much weight from the load.

Spinning around in circles
again, around and around
leaving dark black tire marks
upon the asphalt ground.

There's no way to avoid it
though I jerk harshly at the wheel
and as I see the side of the road coming up
I know exactly what I'm about to feel.

The glass shatters around me,
and the metal crumples with a crash
I jerk forward into the airbag
neck snapping with whiplash

Jerking awake, I sit up
eyes snapping open wide
a cold sweat upon my forehead
and back upon my pillow I lied

"Just a dream" I repeated
"It's just a dream" I said...
Reassuring myself that I was here, still
making sure that I wasn't really dead.

But even so, I couldn't fall back asleep
so I lay there, staring at my window
blinking at the grey clouds outside
and wishing that the wind didn't blow.

Slowly, oh so slowly,
my heartbeat slowed down
And I knew that I was fine
when I finally put my feet upon the ground.

I shake my head slightly
and shiver the rest of the feelings away
standing up now, I'm steady here,
and I know I'll make it through the day.