Wednesday, June 17, 2009

To those people




To My BFF Kaitlyn
You are my best friend, my sister, my other half. A soul mate doesn't have to be someone you're in love with. You're the one who understands me, no matter what, and accepts that I have issues, I'm not perfect and I never will be. You're one of the most caring people I know, and I know that you will stay that way. Thank you.
P.S. I love you

To My Friend, Jill,
Another sister, caring and kind, I can always say whats on my mind to you. You'll always be there for me, no matter what. I wish I was with you more often than I am. Thank you.
P.S. I love you

To my Boyfriend, Howard,
To be able to explain how much love I hold for you would make it a small amount indeed. All I can do is hope that you can see it in my smile, feel it in my touch, and know it from the sparkle in my eyes. What we have is what dreams are made of. Treasure it with me. I know that sometimes I am infuriating, and quite frankly, so are you. But that doesn't matter, because, if we love each other, than we can make it through anything. You are worth everything.
P.S. I love you

To My Ex, Avery,
There is more to say to you than I could put into such a small paragragh as I am putting here. Suffice to say that I know now that it would never work between us, no matter how much I love you or you love me. Cliche it may be, but if you really love me, you will let me go. You would not be happy with me. I would not be happy with you. I know this, and though my heart may skip a beat at the sight of you, it does not matter. I have to cut off contact in order to stay sane. And as wonderful a guy you may be, you still are the same arrogant, selfish, annoying bastard that I found inside that sweet, charming outside shell you put up. I'm sorry to say it, but goodbye.
P.S. I love you too, bastard.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

For my Brother


It makes me cry
when this goes on
a tear, a sigh
and its never gone.
God, why me? why him?
what did we do?
what thing, what sin?
I try to be strong,
to carry him through
but if I offered openly
he'd be saying "I don't need you."
But I know that I need him.
and so I worry in the background
hoping I can keep on my feet
Trying not to cry too much
trying to keep with life's beat.
So I try to let the tears go fast
so i can be strong for him.
and I feel like it won't last
as I throw tissues in a bin.
Though I never see him cry
I never see him break
by the time I think that would happen
I think it'd be too late.
So I guess the only thing I can do,
is just be there
to tell him that I love him
and show him that I care.

Saturday, June 13, 2009

I guess


I guess I never really thought
that you had lied to me
I guess I never really knew
just what we could be.
I guess that I was immature
for hanging on so long.
I guess that I should have known
that something was really wrong.
I guess that I should've seen
that you would break my heart.
I guess that I should have known
that we would always be apart.

Now you've come back expecting
me to fall for you again.
I have to say that that's not cool
I really don't think it's sane.
I really should've listened to
my head over my heart
but I was younger then , I know
and I wasn't very smart.
But with age comes experience,
and i'm a few years older now
I know that I can handle anything
I'll find someway somehow.

So no more words, man
don't tell me no more lies.
just let it go,
the love has died.
hear the words,
feel the pain,
the last of this love
shall end in vain.
It was sweet in start
and bitter in end.
Our hearts may break
but they never bend.

I thought that it was "us" forever
until I saw that you were together
with her, a stranger, another girl
after that, I let my heart uncurl.
No longer wrapped around the idea of "you"
I figured out what I needed to do.
It hurts you, and hurts me more
I'm sorry, but I'm closing the door.

Friday, June 12, 2009

I'm Sorry It's too Late


I really want to touch you
I really want to hold you
One last time in my arms

I really want to see you
I really want to hold you
One last time, feel your charms.

I think it was written in the stars
upon the walls of my heart
You were meant to hold me
but we were to be forever apart.

Despite how I say I hate you
I miss you still, even now
I don't understand it
Why does my heart allow?

I wish you had said your feelings were gone
I had no idea, and continued to love you
Because I'm a girl, to whom love is everything
and I thought I knew what to do.

No matter what you do
This shattered heart has healed.
No matter what you may say
my heart to you is forever sealed.

We may be oceans apart
but I still miss you more.
I see you next to never
but I know I've closed the door.

I'm sorry, so sorry
but it's just too late.